This week The Beard has hosted a bloggers event at work. Believe it or not but The Beard, a 6’1” rugby player (6’3” if you ask him though) who’s covered in tattoos, is a Store Manager for a cosmetics company. To my dismay and despite my protests, I didn’t receive an invite to said bloggers … Continue reading What shit have we got here, then?
Mother Nature has kindly returned my post-partum fertility which The Beard only knows too well as he’s spent the last week suffering my raging PMT. I think he sensed the change in my hormones when I marched down the stairs screaming “ARE YOU TAKING THE PISS OUT OF ME? DO YOU THINK I WASH, DRY, … Continue reading The Very Hungry Mummy
The sweet days of maternity leave are well and truly behind me and as a consequence of returning to work in November I have struggled to make time for things such as shaving my body hair and writing my blog. Since my last post The Baby has started nursery, sprouted a few teeth (to the … Continue reading I bet Mr Tumble wouldn’t fart on my legs in bed
The Baby didn’t want his porridge this morning which I think might be because he’d already devoured a fair bit of Christmas wrapping paper before breakfast time. I’m not sure of the nutritional value of gift wrap but he seemed to enjoy it anyway. Now he’s crying because he’s got his fat leg stuck through … Continue reading Me, The Fiance and The Insomniac
It’s official. The Baby is a child prodigy. Today at breastfeeding club the other mums were astounded that my precious sprog can clap his handies, on demand, at just six months old. I smugly added “oh, is that good? I didn’t realise. He’s been doing it for about a month now”. I knew he was … Continue reading How Not to Announce You’re Up the Spout
This is my first blog post in a couple of weeks because I’ve been busy weaning The Baby onto solid food. He’s only just five months old so Gina the Health Visitor will lose her shit if she finds out what I’ve been up to as the current advice is WAIT UNTIL 6 MONTHS. I am … Continue reading Don’t tell the Health Visitor
Sunday is family day because The Beard doesn’t have to go to work. The day usually begins with him whinging that I’ve been in the shower for half an hour and me telling him to fuck off because it’s the only day I get to have a shower in peace. To my delight, The Baby … Continue reading Dear Mother-in-law, if you’re reading this: don’t